God is not real. Its plain and simple. He is not real.

I've been totally fucked. And not one of those temporary things where I feel bad emotionally for awhile. No. Like physically sick. But it's funnier than that. I don't appear sick on the outside, until I try to move. It's like someone is  playing a game. Lets make it so that David can do basically whatever he wants, but make it really hard for him. Maybe there is a God then, but certainly not a God of love and care as the bible states. People say look back and Job, look at the suffering he went through and was blessed many times over, then the same people want to claim God doesn't heal anymore the way he did in the New Testimate. Sounds like a bunch of crap to me. Claim one part is still valid, while another is not. Seems to just be an easy way to explain away why things do not happen.

This has changed my outlook on life. What is the point of conforming and having a regular job in a regular city like a regular person. None of that shit matters. I should just go where ever I want for as long as I can, and when it's over, it's over. Now if I could just figure out where that was.